Making
A Change
Anytime someone succeeds at
making a change in their life,
it is the result of something more than just discipline and willpower.
Regarding someone who wants to stop smoking who will be dealing with
physical
withdrawals, it is a little more difficult, but it can be done, and in
fact, is
done - all the time. Perhaps not by you YET, but that doesn't mean you
will
never succeed with your attempts to quit smoking.
I see it all the time; people
trying to loose weight, trying
to quit smoking, trying to accomplish something but always falling back
to the
old way. Often times, they will succeed for awhile but it doesn't stick
and
they end up back where they were. This usually is the result of trying
to
succeed by applying discipline and willpower. It gets you going in the
right
direction, but then you tire out and fall back.
Changing
something about yourself is really not about changing. It is about
"exchanging”
- exchanging one way for another. How is this different? Changing
requires you to control your behavior. This is done by the suppressing
of your natural tendencies. Over time, this suppression only frustrates
you. This is why it doesn't work in the long-run.
Exchanging - is to switch tracks altogether. It is a very different
mindset. It is about replacing one life for another, instead of trying
to control the current life. This means that, to some degree, you
become a different person. To some degree you are "exchanging" one
person for another.
This is a good thing. This is part of
the process of maturity. This is why in my articles and in my book I
emphasize personal development as part of a persons program to quit
smoking. This understanding applies to all areas of a life where
something needs to be different.
In the case of the smoker who
understands what I am saying here, this person doesn't just stop
smoking (which only controls the behavior). Instead, this person
actually becomes a non-smoker (a different person to some degree).
Smoking is supportive of the very person that you are. When someone is
truly ready to be a different person, they no longer need that
reinforcement because that person they are reinforcing is no longer who
they are. Again, I say - it is about "exchanging"; one person for
another, one lifestyle for another, one set of values for another.
So then, the question really becomes;
do you only want to quit the behavior - or - do you desire to become a
different person, to some degree?
|
|
|
