About
Support Groups
I myself have gone through many struggles as a
result of a broken life. I immersed myself into all kinds of self-help
information and support groups in an effort to overcome a number of
things. Through all this, I made a significant observation about
support groups that is concerning to me. Since you may be interested in
a support group to help you quit smoking, I would like to share my
concerns with you.
Let me start by saying that I
am very much in favor of support groups. We all need people in our
lives who understand us; someone that we can talk to and share our
problems and experiences with. We all need fellowship, support and
love. A support group can be a great source for developing these types
of relationships and also for learning new solutions from a broader
range of sources.
The way that support groups
are used is the concern that I would like to share with you. My
concern, is that sometimes people use support groups in a co-dependent
way. In other words, it becomes one more thing to become dependent on;
a type of dependency that is not healthy. It becomes like another
addiction and this usually happens unconsciously.
I would encourage anyone to
have supporters in their life, but I also suggest that you pay
attention to the following; - that your supporters are encouraging and
supporting you towards success, and not helping create a co-dependency
group that is a substitute addiction by creating addictive attachments.
Also be aware of enablers who are making you feel too good about having
the problem. They tend to love people "in" there situation instead of
loving people "out" of there situation. And even more, I suggest that
you pay close attention on a very conscious level, at what is driving
you to be attached to the group, so that you can notice if you are
developing a substitute addiction. I would like you to really be free.
So plunge on, and I am sure you will surround yourself with the right
people for you. With the right mindset and proper supporters in your
life, I believe you will succeed in quitting smoking.
The key to preventing this new
replacement dependency, is self-awareness. It is necessary to commit to
constant self-observation. Be aware of what you are feeling and
thinking at all times. By doing this, you will not be driven
unconsciously and functioning just by instinct. You will be able to
tell whether or not you are being driven by the dependency. If you are,
then the best thing you can do for yourself, is to find the things that
edify you in your spirit. Find ways to be intimate with people at the
spirit level (in your spirit). This is where the pain and need exists.
A dependency, at its core, is a problem in the persons spirit, and this
is where the healing needs to take place. This, of course, is after you
have gotten past the physical phase of nicotine withdrawal. Become
dependent on other people’s love, not their stimulation.
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